April: You’re Invited to the Aries Orgy of the Century

Written with love by Mariah the Mystic

Head-banging, jawbreaker Aries is not fucking around this year. In addition to her usual solar domination clique, she has rounded up some slow stragglers. Breathing down your neck in intimidating and slightly erotic ways, Aries barks at you. This is an order to quit loitering and get your move on, literally and figuratively, by sheer will or a stiff sniff of poppers.

Expect April to be fast-paced and likely historical. Spring weather is breaking through, and people are brushing past their doorframes again. Long-awaited films are hitting theatres. And yet, everything is a bit like the Floridian neighborhood in Edward Scissorhands. You can shellac every inch in pastel and fake virtue, but underneath the gauze, everybody is miserable and jumpy, one run-in away from forming a vicious mob. We see this angst burning the wick greedily on a stick of dynamite overseas and at home, with unnecessary conflict and burgeoning war. We observe the return of another Earth Day, shackled to our ticking climate clock, while oligarchs force-feed us a new, equally useless, AI product.

Aries gets shit done loudly and with a walk that follows the talk. One of the pitfalls of their archetype is that they tend to get easily derailed by options or distractions that promise instant results. Right now, it’s pivotal that we all dilute our desire to act and react with the vigilance of a fixed and focused gaze. Keep your wits about you and stay alert to the changing landscape as you continue your day-to-day.

Expect the April 17th New Moon in Aries to catapult you sans safety gear into your next venture. For some, this may feel abrupt, and for others, a reinforcing glint of knowing wholeheartedly. Keep to your own drum, not letting other people's rhythms or style influence your internal beat. When you feel a bit out of your depth, but you aren’t getting signals of actual danger, you will know that you’ve arrived.

April is generational for us, too, with Uranus re-entering Gemini, this time until 2032. Endlessly clickbaited to the nth degree online, and somewhat infamous for the implications of its last turn in Gemini from 1941 to 1949, it’s easy to resort to fear when picturing what this shift may bring. This new paradigm promises one thing for sure: expect the unexpected. There will likely be some hard-and-fast ramp-ups, chaotic evolutions, and/or revolutionary changes that shake our world before spitting us back out. In Gemini, Uranus is soldering radical energy into the current pathways of learning, understanding, and communication. This may, or may not, manifest through the threats of fascism and war, the rise of artificial technology, the end of encryption and beginning of mass surveillance, the outcomes and consequences of international and national shipping, trade, and commerce. We ourselves cannot change the course of this speeding train, but we can figure out how to brace ourselves and the others in our train car best for impact.

Let April be the gale in your wingspan, not the feather in your engine. Open your ribs to receive the blistering enthusiasm Aries brings. Peer out into the night for the opportunities that descend during the New Moon. Engage your core to find greater equilibrium during this new generation of Uranus pandemonium. April is unrelenting but also invigorates us and reminds us what it means to be alive.

Aries Sun +. Rising: You're full flesh and pure adrenaline on a fixed platformer game, speedmaxxing your way through obstacles, nay-sayers, and tough terrain. Mix up your intervals by delighting in the instant rewards and make sure to tap into big flares of emotion and passion as free powerups.

Taurus Sun + Rising: Banish bed sores by letting shimmering shiny prospects tempt you away from comfort zones. Notice where you’re being asked to rise to meet an occasion, and where you leave indelible imprints if you overstay your welcome.

Gemini Sun + Rising: Allow ‘what ifs’ to pump you full of helium and set you skyward. Lace the humdrum cost of administrative tasks with frilly ventures, compatibility vibrations, and possibilities that elevate you, not weigh you down.

Cancer Sun + Rising: Examine and place where you feel pressure and where you feel support. Invite your inner contrarian here to excavate unnecessarily channels, to reset and reclaim the rulebook, and recruit fresh allies.

Leo Sun + Rising: Step into your own experiential exhibit, hovering the bits calling to be learnt, felt, or unlocked in a heart space that has gone dusty. Fall back into a passive role, playing nosy, embracing open-ness, and the retort ‘YES’ without having to lead!

Virgo Sun + Rising: Withdraw from the public sector and magnify the microfilaments of your personal realms. Call out vices that challenge simplicity, progress, and discipline. Posture your inner world monastically, making room for only the necessary and letting anything uninvited see itself out.

Libra Sun + Rising: Seamlessly close the stitches between you and others by seeking partnerships in work and fun. Eliminate guessing games and the impulse of reaction by reframing your communications with others as rough interpretations that need clearer and deeper translation.

Scorpio Sun + Rising: Creation and destruction are overflowing with dynamism, so beware to leave your spout unsupervised. Express, create, dally, and luxuriate without being swept. Remain on guard at the void edges, so that you can multitask on what requires and relies on your caring.

Sagittarius Sun + Rising: The storm clouds give way to fresh green pastures and iridescent colors. Enjoy the chaos and spriteliness of play even when you know that rain will come again. Get outdoors, use your hands to make art, and share your pot of honey with others.

Capricorn Sun + Rising: Take crayon rubbings of all the textures of April, creating keepsakes of and with those who are most valuable to you. Let the whimsy color your expression, escaping your duteous habitat for moments that matter.

Aquarius Sun + Rising: Lean closer and snip the gap between you and your inner circle. Unlock your studio and let your neighbors pop in unannounced. Fertilize what you’re interested in and working on and let an open door policy spread fortuitous seedlings.

Pisces Sun + Rising: Secure pleasure by stashing abundance in your mattress for a rainy day. Let your ripe appetite revel freely on the thrall of costless activities and doodads, while your pile of gold amasses in the silo for safekeeping.